Usually, my small things lists have a sweetness about them. They contain lovely things like daisies and children’s classics and cups of tea. One might compare these posts with a gentle stroll through a country garden. This week, we are going a little rogue and our ride through my small things might be a bit wilder.

One of my favourite recent reads has been Sarah J Maas’ The Assassin’s Blade. I LOVE the pace of this. It is a barrage of action, adventure and emotion, in a brilliantly described world of pirates, desert horses, assassins and betrayals. I am completely hooked and will be reading the next book imminently! Right after I finish Tara Westover’s Educated, which also has its wild side. I am currently reading about her childhood, which included near misses in her dad’s scrapyard, assisting her mother with off-the-books midwifery, and various other exploits.

It has been half term this week. It is fair to say that I have been a bit on edge. I was working on a project that meant a lot to me, as well as trying to recover from a stressful few weeks, getting very little sleep and trying to make sure the children had a good week off. And of course it has been really, really hot. I couldn’t help feeling a little wistful when the promised thunderstorm didn’t arrive (sorry!).

We have done some great things, though there has been something of a tense undercurrent as we tried to fit an impossible number of tasks, get togethers and outings into one week.

One of the things I did this week was to take our children and a friend to a small, local aquarium. I took a great liking to the nursehound, a small species of shark that is found in our South West waters. We also spent moments watching all kinds of other marine life: the graceful spotted ray; a huge starfish whose tentacles we watched as it clung to the glass; a pipe fish who appeared, weed-like, to feed. The octopus was captivating, yet there was a sense of wishing it could be free. It really did appear too intelligent and curious to be stuck in a tank. I was completely absorbed in watching the way it moved through the water. (As an aside, if you haven’t watched Remarkably Bright Creatures on Netflix yet, please do! But, please read the book first. It is as good as everyone says it is!)

Outside the aquarium, the children quickly found their way to the beach and began a fascinating but somewhat macabre collection of pieces of sea creatures: pincers, the “antenna” of a lobster, and large pieces of crab shell. They refrained from picking up the carcass of a small shark. After I had retrieved their crocs from a patch of mudlike, sucking sand, and washed them in the seawater (which all of us splashed into with spectacular abandon), we went to do some crab fishing. I can’t say that we had much (any) success in this, but others did. We admired their catches of large orange and white crabs, which, to my amusement, were handled with wildly varying levels of confidence.

We all were quite distracted from our own crab fishing endeavours by the general joy of being by the sea: watching teens make dubious jumps from the harbour; looking at beautiful purple jellyfish and whooping with delight when boats sent extra large waves towards our dangling feet. Soon, I was grabbing bags and shoes to rescue them from the quickly incoming tide and shrieking at the children to move back. They, with the complete absence of fear their age group are blessed with, were full of shouts and jumps. Meanwhile, I mentally calculated my chances of jumping in after them if they succumbed to the increasingly large waves sweeping across the harbour. I dragged them away with a mixture of guilt and sheer, raw relief.

Later in the week, we had another adventure when we set off on a bike ride. This is one of my favourite things to do. Once I had yanked my slightly faulty bike into an appropriate gear, I began to really enjoy myself. Until I saw my son, who was slightly ahead, stumbling back towards us without his bike. He had come off the bike at some speed and was bleeding rather profusely. He was an absolute hero and walked over a mile back to the truck. I battled with mum-guilt about not having appropriate first aid supplies in my bag, but I think he was rather proud of his mastery of the situation. We had a quiet moment of wonder, too, when we spotted a young fox up ahead. My son has always loved foxes and it felt like it was just for him.

My anxiety has been bad this week: too much going on, too little sleep, not enough SPACE in my life. But I have been so grateful for others’ support, helping with the children, giving meals, being a listening ear, and understanding my silences.

Today, my husband and I got out for a short walk with our aging sausage dog. Honestly, I was overwhelmed with tiredness and didn’t feel like talking much and the dog wasn’t up to walking far. But the river and the green trees and the birdsong were the usual balm and made me feel a little closer to myself again.

What are your small things this week?