I write very often about the small things: little pleasures and tiny moments and small acts of love. When savoured, celebrated and sewn together, these make for a beautiful, glad life. I believe very much in the power of small things, even over the darkness and chaos of our foolish, warring world.

Today, though, I am mindful of the big things. Not, on this occasion, the big and severe things of the world, but the personal things that feel big.

For our family, this has been a year of things that feel big. There was my father-in-law’s illness and the months he spent in hospital; his recovery and homecoming; the way it all changed life and work here on the farm. There were my children’s autism diagnoses, which had been a long time coming. There was my son’s final year in primary school and the culmination of a long fight to get him the right school place for his secondary education. Two of my grandparents turned 90 this year. I will be taking on some changes in my work in September, and I have made some exciting decisions about my writing (more on these soon).

I wanted to write this because sometimes we carry big things, sometimes for a long time, and there can be a big old tangle of emotions and experiences that go along with these things.

I also wanted to write about the big things because I don’t think I am alone in feeling the weight of them, or in getting tired. I don’t think I am the only one who sits down and scrolls or shops on the internet to just give my brain a break from the mental load.

I am not about to wrap this post up with some neat advice about mindfulness; I guess I just wanted to sit in this space for a while, here on the blog, and acknowledge the big things and how they fill our lives.

A Poem about the Big Things

An elephant would fill a room like an illness can fill months like absence can fill a house like worry can loom large over days and nights.

If a whale were in my house it could fill it with the strange wonder of a dream swimming sea brimming over everything.

When I think of elephants and whales I think of their eyes how they seem wise like they have seen a lot of life.