I wish you knew

That

Your laughter, your questions,

your little thoughts and kindnesses and songs –

All these things are full of wonder.

I wish you knew

That

Your smile really does light up a room!

I wish you knew

That

In those years, when you were tiny,

(perhaps, in spite of it all, she held you tenderly and rocked you)

Even then, you were a seed in our hearts

Even then, we loved you fiercely

We loved you, our child, even then.

I wish you knew

That

Being apart tears at my heart, too.

I wish you knew

That

Wherever you are,

I’ll always be thinking

About if you had your breakfast

Or brought a coat.

Always,

My thoughts are turned to

If you are happy, and safe,

If you know how much you are loved.

I wish you knew

That

Those moments of play,

Of sitting side by side,

The clink of the Lego box,

The feel of sand in our hands,

These moments are stored, precious, treasured.

I wish you knew

That

Even when tiredness gives my voice an edge,

When frustration makes my eyes hard,

When anxiety makes my words tough or frantic,

Even then –

The whole of my being loves you

And is willing for you to see it.

I wish you knew

That

You have so much to bring to the world

Simply by being yourself.

I wish you knew

That

If I could muster all the strength of the ocean,

Or summon the power of the wind,

I would channel it all

To propel you,

Uphold you,

To fill you from within

With great torrents

Of confidence,

Of wisdom,

Of hope,

Of joy.

I wish you knew

That you are loved,

As you are,

Our child.