a few words for when you feel lost

So many people I know, especially those in their twenties and thirties, speak of feeling lost sometimes. Partly it’s that we had a plan or expectation of what life would be by now and it hasn’t worked out that way. Or it has, but it’s not what we thought it would be. Partly, it’s that…

Things I believe in

I’ve been blogging less lately, and I wonder whether it is partly because many of the things on my mind and heart right now are so particularly hard to articulate. Combine that with my mental and physical energy levels being pretty depleted and I wind up with a few unfinished drafts and a lot of…

4am

It’s 4am and I’m sat on a rickety chair in my son’s room, listening to the rain. He woke a couple of hours ago and has been restful since, as long as I don’t move. As soon as I shuffle, he’s awake again, asking where I’m going. My feet are a little cold and my…

On making pasta, and other Small Things

Today, the children and I made pasta, and it was a small thing, really, but also a big deal, as the small things so often are. It was a big deal because I had been ill and it was the first time I had been able to summon the energy for such a task. And…

Lent

Lent is essentially a “churchy” time, when the unfashionable concepts of discomfort, sacrifice and mortality are brought into an uneasy focus for us, beginning with the marking of a cross on our foreheads in ash. We are dust, and to dust we shall return… For a long time in the West, our privileged culture has…

Sky

From morning to night, the wide windows in our new house draw my eyes outside and up to the sky. Have you noticed how the sky is constantly changing? Of course, it’s so big, and so full of weather, it makes sense that every time I gaze up I see a different cloud formation, or…

2021 in Books…

Like everyone else, I didn’t find 2021 the easiest year. As I pushed my way through it (much as one might hack through relentless thornbushes: with a lack of verve, but a certain sense of grim resolve), I found ways to take care of myself amid the sheer exhaustion. I threw myself into short power…

Old House

This year, our current home, the one I’m sitting in now, has become affectionately referred to in our family as “the old house”. For the past year, we’ve been planning a move “up the lane”, where we have been extending a little bungalow at my in laws’ place. It’s a small extension, and a small…

World Adoption Day

It’s World Adoption Day, and, as with many of these occasions, its immediate effect on my day-to-day life has been pretty low. I saw a couple of extra adoption related posts on social media, and that was about it. And yet… Adoption, of course, affects every minute of my day-to-day life, every day. Adoption is…

List (A Poem)

Sometimes I feel a weight in the world: it’s dreary And I know it’s not just me. Sometimes I see strain and grief pervading things The ache and edge that all of this brings. The effort it takes to wade through the pressure Of comfort and wanting Or striving and worrying. Or the lonely stone…

Gracious Uncertainty

I’ve had these two words ringing around my heart and head for days now. Each morning, when I have my shower, I take two minutes while the water warms up to read a page of a Christian devotional book. Perhaps more than ever, I’ve needed these two minute reads lately. Often tired after a broken…